Splinter

I think it says alot for the backbiting, empty world of criticism that virtually every critic that watched Splinter, an enjoyable little indie creature feature, described the monster as AHHHH KILLER PORCUPINE LOL.  Granted, most critics seemed to like the film, and those that didn't, such as this embarrassing review from the slackjawed paradise known as the AV Club completely missed the point.

I really don't get the whole porcupine thing.  If anything, Splinter should really be called "what happens when a screenwriter watches that one clip of the parasitic fungus on youtube and thinks 'hey, what if that was really fast and bigger?'"  Thankfully, the film that resulted was smart enough to keep the focus entirely on the creature.  Sure, there's actual humans, consisting of two couples, one being a mid-20s nerdy indie dreamboat, the other being convicts who carjack the former couple, but the movie is pretty quick about dispensing with the character backgrounds and interactions, shuttling them to an abandoned gas station that will be the rest of the movie.  They're quickly assaulted by the monster, which is/are spiky parasites that take over a host's body in search of delicious blood, and the 80 minute runtime just slips by.

Kudos really need to come out for the excellent use of low budget in handling the monsters.  You see enough of them, including their unsettling habit of making the bodies move in ways they are not designed to move, but not enough that you're forced to conclude that their prosthetics were bought in a bargain costume shop.  The film also wisely invested in top-notch, visceral sound effects that tap on your power of suggestion, a mix between your average outdoors ambiance with something that should not be.

There are problems, of course.  The third act, like almost all creature features, has the typical lame "eureka!" moment that you probably figured out already, though (spoilers) to the film's credit, the ensuing solution actually goes terribly wrong..  Still, it's not a big hassle, since the movie also features genuinely rational human behavior in the face of terrifying menace, as opposed to the usual extremes of people either not SHUTTING THE FUCK UP or acting like Deep Blue pondering chess pieces covered with psychic ants.  One particular character revelation was fairly groan-worthy.  But overall, Splinter is a really likeable little throwback to those kinetic, cheesy 80's horror films like Night of the Creeps or Critters.