I HOPE YOU LIKE MUSIC MADE FOR GIRLS

I know it's basically hilariously passe for people to mock pitchfork reviews, but for fuck's sake. I always like reading Pitchfork's reviews of music that is more intense than neutral milk hotel, because, perhaps understandably, no one is going to buy that anyone writing for that site actually listens to hard music. As a result, ANY review of vaguely punky music is filled to the brim with namedrops. I mean, come on NITSUH ABEBE, there is at least a dozen references to bands on there (and I did like the UNGH LABEL FINISHER, PLAYER ONE WINS). It's like one realizes that your average reader on there is afraid of scary music, so you run to your editor terrified that it's not even going to be noticed (WHILE THAT BASTARD WITH THE NON-RETARDED NAME GETS TO COVER THE NEW BROKEN SOCIAL SCENE ALBUM AND HE COULD JUST WRITE "FART" AND IT WOULD BE NUMBER ONE FOR THREE WEEKS*) and he's all ha ha I hate you but maybe if you cover the opening paragraph with a bunch of recognizable bands maybe someone will care


*: to be fair, that would be probably the best review possible for that album